poetry

the ineffable worthwhile… 


i am immensely selective 
who i say i love you to 

where i put in the time 

within hours that make weeks 

that couldn’t be explained within years 

before i say those words 

tearing everything apart 

not just how i feel 

or if someone deserves 

those words from me 

but everything i can see 

because if i’m going to say it 

i better fucking mean it 

love has never been 

just a cute little thing to me 

it’s a feeling i have 

while looking into someone else 

realizing their happiness is mine 

and knowing that my stubbornness 

will have to kneel at times 

where fighting is inevitable

but if it doesn’t make you feel bad 

moments after beginning 

then perhaps 

one of you are too selfish 

because i know that i cannot 

completely understand anyone 

but if i am saying that i love them 

i better fucking be understanding 

i better be willing to break 

willing to hurt 

for more than just me 

because it’s not all about the smiles 

or cute and cheesy things 

those things keep it fun 

and add to the worthwhile 

i put in the time before saying 

i love you 

because my love 

is the ineffable worthwhile 

in me -joshua ryan stewart 

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