i’ll pay the fare… 

i am the type of person 

smiling and encouraging 

those loving couples 

the true ones 

for what they have 

and what they could make 

where some are envious 

and some are jealous 

but darling 

when it comes to you and me 

i couldn’t give a damn 

what anyone else thinks 

so i’ll pay the fare 

doubling it with a tip 

to send all those 

pissy ass jealous fuckers 

to hell 

as they watch us 

burn their little twisted worlds 

to the ground 

-joshua ryan stewart


beyond the word… 

i don’t need a feature 

i am the motherfucking feature 

keep my name 

out of the shame 

i don’t tend to socialize 

because i recognize 

the lack of humanity 

in this shit storm of idiotacy 

i’m bleeding beyond the word 

slicing like a sword 

causing mass hysteria 

within a so called criteria

because within the absurdities 

of these lackluster personalities 

i peel away my sins 

refusing to heel to the skins 

lost within the time

treating me like mealtime 

i’m not here to feed an endless starvation 

of a losing civilization 

feeding ridiculous mindsets 

of naked body concepts 

i’m just a dying breed 

finding what i’ve needed 

beyond these words 

i bear like swords 

-joshua ryan stewart


scream those whispers… 

gently my fingertips 

glide upon your skin 

tracing the pain 

that was placed there 

before i made it here 

as i start to kiss 

and nibble 

dig your nails in 

and tear these sins 

off of my soul 

because i want you 

to feel me 

deeper and deeper 

so whisper to me 

within moans 

what you’ve yearned for 

and i’ll give you 

something to scream for 

-joshua ryan stewart


the ineffable worthwhile… 

i am immensely selective 
who i say i love you to 

where i put in the time 

within hours that make weeks 

that couldn’t be explained within years 

before i say those words 

tearing everything apart 

not just how i feel 

or if someone deserves 

those words from me 

but everything i can see 

because if i’m going to say it 

i better fucking mean it 

love has never been 

just a cute little thing to me 

it’s a feeling i have 

while looking into someone else 

realizing their happiness is mine 

and knowing that my stubbornness 

will have to kneel at times 

where fighting is inevitable

but if it doesn’t make you feel bad 

moments after beginning 

then perhaps 

one of you are too selfish 

because i know that i cannot 

completely understand anyone 

but if i am saying that i love them 

i better fucking be understanding 

i better be willing to break 

willing to hurt 

for more than just me 

because it’s not all about the smiles 

or cute and cheesy things 

those things keep it fun 

and add to the worthwhile 

i put in the time before saying 

i love you 

because my love 

is the ineffable worthwhile 

in me -joshua ryan stewart 


your riches are worth it… 

i’ve carried worlds without breaking a sweat. two stepping into a dance, where i could easily leave you in a trance. while wondering beyond the boundaries, so many hold sacred within fears. where i have loved and lost. but i have never stopped being love. because to me, that would be the moment… i truly become lost. yet within the paradox that i am. i know i have a worth, where i could say that i am worth it. but within what i deserve, it isn’t what i get. oh no… it is in what i give, that makes me worth it. because if you rely on something else to give you value, then what are the riches you have to give. 

-joshua ryan stewart


untitled rambling… 

i don’t talk too much to anyone 

within a certain depth 

filled with heart, soul, and mind

besides these dead trees 

yet i wake up to 

hundreds upon hundreds 

that used to be 

thousands of notifications 

just within a few hours of sleep 

likes and comments

private and direct messages 

pictures and videos that disappear 

sharing something with me 


my phone even rings 


as i scroll through it all 

looking for the ones 

that i wish and want to see 

just another day of 

wishing and wanting you 

to hold in my hands 

instead of a phone 

reminding me 

there’s a whole lot of people 

who will never see me 

as i see you 

-joshua ryan stewart


forever willing to break… 

calculating the possibilities 

held beyond me 

daydreaming forever 

between the distances 

of my heart and soul 

yet i am pondering 

the weight that’s not mine 

capable of pulling apart 

the divide 

or is that 

the divine 

held in us 

and how i would break 

to save you the pain of 

any divide 

where i am pondering 

what i don’t have to choose 

because darling 

if it comes to you or me 

i’ll take all the pain 

because i would rather own 

this abyss 

all by myself 

than to give you 

the slightest emptiness 

that i can’t fill 

although this isn’t me 

running away 

this is me 

making a decision 

if ever 

the distances 

start to divide 

i’ll lose this so called divine 

in me 

to save what 

i’ve always known 

was special in you 

-joshua ryan stewart