poetry

the ineffable worthwhile… 


i am immensely selective 
who i say i love you to 

where i put in the time 

within hours that make weeks 

that couldn’t be explained within years 

before i say those words 

tearing everything apart 

not just how i feel 

or if someone deserves 

those words from me 

but everything i can see 

because if i’m going to say it 

i better fucking mean it 

love has never been 

just a cute little thing to me 

it’s a feeling i have 

while looking into someone else 

realizing their happiness is mine 

and knowing that my stubbornness 

will have to kneel at times 

where fighting is inevitable

but if it doesn’t make you feel bad 

moments after beginning 

then perhaps 

one of you are too selfish 

because i know that i cannot 

completely understand anyone 

but if i am saying that i love them 

i better fucking be understanding 

i better be willing to break 

willing to hurt 

for more than just me 

because it’s not all about the smiles 

or cute and cheesy things 

those things keep it fun 

and add to the worthwhile 

i put in the time before saying 

i love you 

because my love 

is the ineffable worthwhile 

in me -joshua ryan stewart 

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poetry

your riches are worth it… 

i’ve carried worlds without breaking a sweat. two stepping into a dance, where i could easily leave you in a trance. while wondering beyond the boundaries, so many hold sacred within fears. where i have loved and lost. but i have never stopped being love. because to me, that would be the moment… i truly become lost. yet within the paradox that i am. i know i have a worth, where i could say that i am worth it. but within what i deserve, it isn’t what i get. oh no… it is in what i give, that makes me worth it. because if you rely on something else to give you value, then what are the riches you have to give. 

-joshua ryan stewart

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poetry

untitled rambling… 

i don’t talk too much to anyone 

within a certain depth 

filled with heart, soul, and mind

besides these dead trees 

yet i wake up to 

hundreds upon hundreds 

that used to be 

thousands of notifications 

just within a few hours of sleep 

likes and comments

private and direct messages 

pictures and videos that disappear 

sharing something with me 

hell

my phone even rings 

occasionally 

as i scroll through it all 

looking for the ones 

that i wish and want to see 

just another day of 

wishing and wanting you 

to hold in my hands 

instead of a phone 

reminding me 

there’s a whole lot of people 

who will never see me 

as i see you 

-joshua ryan stewart

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poetry

forever willing to break… 

calculating the possibilities 

held beyond me 

daydreaming forever 

between the distances 

of my heart and soul 

yet i am pondering 

the weight that’s not mine 

capable of pulling apart 

the divide 

or is that 

the divine 

held in us 

and how i would break 

to save you the pain of 

any divide 

where i am pondering 

what i don’t have to choose 

because darling 

if it comes to you or me 

i’ll take all the pain 

because i would rather own 

this abyss 

all by myself 

than to give you 

the slightest emptiness 

that i can’t fill 

although this isn’t me 

running away 

this is me 

making a decision 

if ever 

the distances 

start to divide 

i’ll lose this so called divine 

in me 

to save what 

i’ve always known 

was special in you 

-joshua ryan stewart

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poetry

howling within praises 

sitting here 

howling at the moon 

in the middle 

of the afternoon 

under clouded skies 

praising its beauty 

in me 

perhaps 

everyone sees 

yet not everyone 

understands 

but darling 

within a primal instinct 

i do believe 

this is intrinsic to 

the way my soul 

like the currents 

of an ocean 

to the moon 

is moved by yours 

-joshua ryan stewart

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poetry

untitled 06112017 

i’ve never been one to pretend 

so i’ll admit that 

i’m a sinner 

with a saint’s faith 
a mystic beauty 

of an ancient soul 

from the days of old 
a patchworked heart 

from the battles 

where i was forged 
a mind full of madness 

for what i believe 

i can make 
a romantic comedy 

from the horror stories 

i’ve lived through 

-joshua ryan stewart

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poetry

I’ll call you poetry… 

i’ve always admired 

complex dreamers 

of simple things 

and profound philosophers 

in the way they feel 

gorgeously sexy beasts 

within their existences 

capable of simplifying 

what it means to live 

and perhaps darling 

this is why 

i’ll call you poetry 

because explaining life 

and love 

isn’t the same as 

living 

and feeling it 

in your breaths 

-joshua ryan stewart

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