for what they gave me… 

​there’s a movie ticket 

from a theater in ohio 

framed behind glass 

with some words 

hanging on my bedroom wall 

just one of many memories 

i like to keep close 

like the warning ticket 

i got for speeding on i-29 

just south of the alcester exit 

in south dakota 

or a bed side note 

left in my notebook 

and a post-it note 

telling me how she wanted her latte 

from dunkin donuts 

just a block or so down from 

the hotel pennsylvania in new york city 

which i still carry 

the room key in my wallet 

to a ring 

laying on top of my dresser 

from nine trips around that sun 

where i learned a lot about change 

and watching someone leave 

but you see 

i don’t keep these things 

for what was lost 

i keep them 

for what they gave me 

somewhere along the way 

-joshua ryan stewart 


Beresford, SD… 

​i remember waiting at a kasey’s off of i-29… beresford, sd. over a thousand miles away from the place, that has made me wonder what home really is. 24 plus hours driving, and still running on dreams wide awake. 4am and some change, as she pull in to that parking lot. stepping out of her yellowish gold cherokee, and in to mine. my warrior’s heart fell a little more in love with the language her gypsy soul spoke to me, within movements of mine. knowing that she was just as nervous as i was. for a love we’ve been chasing, years on end. between the spaces where we couldn’t begin. i could talk about it all… from the days that lead us there, to the days that followed. like they were lifetimes, and perhaps they were to me. as i did my best to live in the moments, i now hold as memories. because within a lifetime of dreaming. i have come to know. it isn’t what it could be, or what it could have been, that matters. it is what it is, that gives us meaning… to cherish the moments, we now have to live. 

-joshua ryan stewart


fantasy of nowhere dreams 

​oh darlings 

i am used to it 

this stumbling type thing 

where i wander 

aimlessly around 

all alone 

within the masses 

but what i cannot get used to 

is the faces that bind 

to their masks 

that they hide behind 

leaving me 

or is that leading me 

to the places 

where i feel 

more lost than 

what i can find 

binding me 

to a fantasy 

of nowhere dreams 

beyond the places 

i cannot reach 

-joshua ryan stewart



​sighs, under a lonely night’s sky. sipping sweet tea, and silent bittersweet goodbyes. arguable cries, unsettled within the times. where i know exactly, where i have been. yet i can’t stomp this ground… as it spins me around, knocking me down. wondering if my wandering has ever got me anywhere but down. challenging the hearts i find. for a warrior’s cry, within mine. trying not to lose my desire for a journey. taking me through the times… unsettled within mine. 

-joshua ryan stewart


to breathe 

​unraveling thoughts and feelings. trying to slow what i feel. so i can think beyond what is felt. the ways are not all right or wrong. life would be boring without different songs. there is ups and downs. to the power and the powerful. full houses of royalties. crumbling over made up currencies. anger and fear on the rise. dividing brothers and sisters. within and beyond their own tribes. making up sides. so i try slowing my thoughts. to feel beyond what i can think. because my heart and soul weigh heavier than the fears i am given. my love is greater than any differences. so i kneel down upon this dirt. breathing in the air. that i hope lasts long after. not only my grandchildren’s, grandchildren. but any so called friend’s or enemy’s of mine… to breathe. -joshua ryan stewart