following a meaning… 

​i am not the one who knows what to do, but i do what is right in my heart, what needs done. at times i may seem reckless, although i don’t mean to be careless… which i’ve been both, but never with who holds my heart. because i am not one for tall tales, yet i’ve got some stories to unfold. piles of dirty laundry stretched across three decades of questionable decisions, and inappropriate behaviors. where i’ve tested my heart and soul beyond the limitations of my mind. although my greatest trials have been given to me by the hands, i’ve trusted to hold my heart. yet within their hearts, 

i found more to a meaning… 

to keep following mine. 

-joshua ryan stewart


a bittersweet harmony… 

​returning to original concepts 

just to burn the blueprints 

screaming out loud 

something has to give 

as my heart implodes 

to expose 

a bittersweet harmony 

i fall to my knees 

without pleading 

because within this moment 

i’ve given my heart 

the chance to breathe 

the chance to lead 

in a brand new way 

-joshua ryan stewart


like the sky holds the rain… 

​if i could, i would reach across space and time. not to wrap you up in my arms, but to hold you as close to me as you are in my heart. because darling i don’t want to wrap you up in anything, i want to hold you freely… like the sky holds the rain. and perhaps providing a little faith for you to fall back down. because i could never wrap you up within the heavens. although i will hold your hand, and walk through hell with you. 

-joshua ryan stewart


simple creatures 

​he was always a wild creature 

not only stepping out of line 

but leaving the path 

with a smile on his face 

as he wandered his own way 

on this ground 

while laughing at the sky 

that always tried to pull him 

with promises of thrills 

for an exchange of his skills 

yet he knew that sky 

held a beauty 

but only simple creatures 

are fooled by the light 

and howl at the moon 

for what they can see 

which was just absurd to him 

for he knew true beauty 

didn’t always shine 

where his eyes could see 

and the beast within himself 

craved more than just 

a howl in the dark 

he craved a beauty 

willing to share 

a path worth making 

through day or night 

-joshua ryan stewart


torn in me… 

​falling to my knees, trying not to be reckless. fighting my stubbornness… for what means more to me than foolish pride, or my arrogance. because i didn’t come this far, just to lay down and die. nor did i come bearing anything less than love… anything less than me. as i try to breathe in between the chaos of my mind, the madness of my heart, and the wilderness of my soul. for it may feel like hell is raining down around me,  yet i carry the heavens torn inside of me. as i try not to be reckless… 

for what is more than just torn in me. 

-joshua ryan stewart